Brian Feels Attacked: a response in two parts.

Part, the first – whataboutisms

What about the mountain of marketing that tells women they need to constantly look younger? What about all the products that supposedly remove wrinkles and firm skin? What about countdown clocks for underage celebrities for when they turn 18? What about men who set the age preferences on their dating apps to 20–25 when they are in their mid-to-late-30s? What about the constant infantilization of women by calling them “girls” and devaluing their expertise? What about the celebrity men that only date women below the age of 25? What about the term “jail bait”?

While breast augmentation is a fact of life, that doesn’t negate the very real fact that women are not allowed to age past 25.

Also, I don’t believe breast augmentation is really about size more so about shape and perkiness, which brings us back to looking younger. Perky, full breasts = youth.

We are constantly told, as women, that our “VALUE” decreases as we age and we are constantly and consistently barraged with tips and tricks on how to appear younger and maintain a youthful appearance.

What’s also a booming industry? Plastic surgery and fillers and Botox. What does it achieve? YOUNGER. LOOKING. WOMEN.

Combined with, as you pointed out, the no body hair allowed rule, women are told to maintain the appearance of someone who’s basically “barely legal.”

Also, not every pre-pubescent girl is flat-chested. There are horror stories of men leering and commenting on girls’ bodies as young as 10, just because they started developing early.

I’m not even going to touch on the child porn industry because… well, you know.

So, yes, men are obsessed with boobies. But your argument doesn’t disprove mine.

Part, the second – the world actually hates BIG boobs

Now, this isn’t TOTALLY related, but I’m on a roll so here we go.

Women are told via marketing, societal pressures, and men’s fantasies that Big Boobs™️ are the “goal.” But somehow men conveniently forget the fact that they don’t actually like big breasts at all, at least not if they aren’t on some size 00 fashion playboy bunny type.

The world was not made for large breasts. Women’s clothing is not designed for it. Mainstream underwear companies don’t have the sizes. Seatbelts and life jackets and so many other things are not designed with breasts above a B cup in mind. Sports bras are an absolute joke. The idea of “saggy boobs” is this almost boogeyman meant to frighten women into… well, not aging!

Celebrities – though, notice how there aren’t actually that many with large breasts? – can get away with large breasts because they can afford custom clothing and underwear to cater to their shape. But, most women can’t. So we suffer in silence and see our button down shirts closed and deal with the back pain and try not to imagine our nipples at our crotch because that’s all we can do.

Breast reduction surgery is just a prevalent.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk. I hope you learned something, even if it was just about why you feel so sensitive about someone mentioning that men fantasize about little girls, when it is indeed true.