Own Being Single this Valentine’s Day

Buy your own damn chocolates

I am always single on Valentine’s Day.

Even when I was in a super messy on-and-off relationship, we’d always seem to be broken up around this time of year.

When you’re always alone on the day of love, it’s easy to feel bitter or even dread the day altogether. What’s the point of celebrating something you aren’t participating in?

But I feel like, in 2020, romantic love is so cliché. It’s time to embrace some self-love because you’ve always been there for you. Your relationship with yourself may not be the happiest or the healthiest, but it’s never too late to start treating yourself with kindness and compassion.

So instead of beating yourself up or throwing a pity party because you’re single on Valentine’s Day, own it!

Show the world, and yourself, that you are an amazing and complete person even if you’re not in a romantic relationship.

Buy your own damn chocolates

Since no one else is going to do it, I decided last year I would get myself a box of fancy chocolates. Last year and this year I’ve gone to a chocolatier that I don’t buy from often and treat myself to a decent-sized box because it seems extra special that way.

There’s no rule that says you can’t buy yourself the chocolates, or flowers — I’ve done that before too — or even splurge on a gift you’ve always wanted. Plus, you know yourself best and you’ll get exactly what you want.

It might feel a little awkward at the time, but I promise you no one cares.

You don’t need terms like “self-partnered”

A while ago, Emma Watson received some attention for saying in an interview that she referred to herself as “self-partnered” instead of single. I’m not really against those sorts of labels, considering all the negative connotations that the word “single” seems to carry, especially for women. But I also don’t think it’s necessary.

You don’t need to justify your relationship status with fancy labels. Normalizing singleness, especially as a woman, comes from stripping away labels. And the way you describe yourself doesn’t need to be made more palatable for anyone’s benefit.

In fact, it’s really nobody’s business but yours.

Pamper yourself

There’s no one that knows what you like better than you, so take advantage of that and do some things you want to do.

This Valentine's, I’m planning on having a luxurious bath with a bath bomb and a face mask because I like feeling a little fancy. I’ll probably even light a scented candle. I’m also going to eat a lot of chocolate and maybe even have some wine. My plans also include some serious cat cuddling because I seriously love my cat.

Pampering yourself doesn’t have to be fancy, nor does it need to involve baths or skincare or wine. Just pick something that you love to do, that you can spend some quality time with yourself doing, and have at it.

Valentine’s day doesn’t need to be horrible and lonely. Believe me, I’ve had plenty of embittered ones. Make the choice to enjoy yourself instead of letting society tell you how you're supposed to feel. Give yourself something to look forward to instead of dreading it.

Being single is not a shortcoming and it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re unworthy of love. Focus on self-love or even other loving relationships you have in your life, maybe family, friends, or pets.

I hope you have a lovely day.

Writer || INFJ || Wellness junkie and chronic oversharer. jgoldsmithwrites.com/

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