What My “Main Character Summer” Taught Me

Ask, and the universe will deliver

Jenna Goldsmith


Two hands open with palms face up, with the outer edge pressed together. Between the hands is a dainty yellow flower.
Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

The thing is… I’ve never felt like the main character in my own life.

I’ve been the funny best friend, the weird and quirky side character, the manic pixie dream girl, but never the main character. Most of the time, though, I’ve felt like an NPC (Non-Playing Character).

I can’t help but think of Kate Winslet’s scene in The Holiday, where she says, “You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god’s sake!”

This needs to change.

I wrote these words back in May, what seems like a lifetime ago, on the first steps of my journey to my “Main Character Summer.”

What I imagined was something like getting more into yoga, taking myself out to dinner, exploring interesting bookstores in the city, and going on more hikes.

The universe had something else in mind.

The story begins when “boy meets girl”…

No, it’s not what you’re thinking. Not that, either. Whatever you are thinking, that’s not what happened. But I’m not going to get into the nitty-gritty details.

Long story short: the girl ends up with a broken heart. Her reign as the queen of unrequited love continues.

The lessons, though, the lessons came like waves and waves. It hurt more than anything, but I needed to learn. And I’m still learning as I’m unpacking everything that happened.

Trying to control everything makes it worse

The universe knows what it’s doing, and many things are outside our control. But the tighter we hold on to our expectations, the narratives we tell ourselves, and the hopes we have, the worse things turn out.

Hope is a beautiful thing. But our hopes are not set in stone.

We like to tell ourselves stories to make sense of the world, but we can’t get too caught up in the…